Anxious in Phoenix
I’ve been back in PHX for a few days now but still not feeling any better. I’m simply anxious about what tomorrow holds, what tomorrow may bring, and what tomorrow can do to fuck you up. (Uesugi Kenshin, a Daimyo of Japan, once mentioned that he never thinks of winning, only how to be advantageous in a situation)
I love Phoenix, but, as is everywhere, money is a necessity (in society’s current shape anyway). Given a chance, I’d be a monk at a secluded mountain or something. Or beach. Whatever. Why? Who would trade all the headaches in the world for a simple, blissful life, savoring nibbana at the very recesses of the soul? Then again, there’s no progress in such a state. Had everyone subscribed to it, technology would have stopped and everyone would still be sowing and reaping their own grain (rice, wheat, or corn for the Americas).
Right now, I am not in a quandary, nor am I in a rut (just yet). Fabricating a future with your own hands is a daunting task; thank God I’ve had enough hands to help me out. Good thing I’m not in the crossroads like Genghis Kahn when he was captured as a slave. I wonder how it felt like when he was aware of his mortality in the inhospitable steppes of Mongolia? Perhaps it was the ultimate deciding factor that ultimately led him to become Emperor? Back as a slave, who would have known, eh?
I am ambitious. Perhaps a little more so. But I’m also a perfectionist, easily crushed to be compulsively obsessive about that one speck that blemished the entire picture. Its quite interesting how another picture of you unfolds once you step back for a moment and watch the chain of events like an untimed movie churning endlessly in your mind. That’s insight.
Although world’s are easily made, only to crumble, in my mind, there’s endless possibilities (possible realities) being manufactured incessantly — highways constantly being paved for one to take. Don’t you have that feeling? That’s anxiety for you. Here’s one of them right now:
I have taken upon myself the momentous task of opening up a company here in America. As it is, I am a foreigner with a vague idea of what I want and what I would like to happen (vague in the sense that opportunities abound, as is everywhere else, but the problem of deduction and focus is of paramount concern). I’ve listed down some objectives to be taken for the short term — namely research — before the fleshing out of the plan can be produced.
- Research the state laws for foreign ownership of a corporation (There’s tonnes around, should be easy)
- As trading will be the most likely candidate, I must also research the Customs Regulations
- Customs doesn’t have all the answers as the Fed have the final say; it is imperative, therefore, to know and understand which clearances must be granted from certain burueas.
Well, sounds easy, especially that I have all the contact numbers and all, but you’d be surprised how many times I’ve had "Could you hold? I’ll transfer you to somebody more knowledgeable…" then end up nowhere? Yeah, that’s the way it is. Three Hoorays for Bureaucracy!
And I must seriously get some rest too. 2:54 AM. And still anxious.
